Have you ever had this pattern in your life, waking up in the morning and all the mind work, spiritual work and meditation you did the day before has gone out the door?
I have noticed lately that right the second I open my eyes, everything seems so clear, and feels like a harsh reality wakes you up by pouring cold water on your face. I have had most of my crazy messages, impulsive behaviour and panic attacks along with crying, etc. right after I have woken up.
I never thought about it on a second level. I use to think; well the reason I feel this way is because this is the reality, and i should be mad at him, or I should be freaked out because I don’t have a job, or I should be panicking because I don’t have any money,… and as the day goes by I start to calm myself down, and do what I do to get things going and calm myself down. But these are on the days that I can control it, on the bad days, I have sent needy messages, angry messages,etc. And had to pay for my morning later on.
So what is this about? I use to think it’s my higher conciseness trying to wake me up, and because I just woke up fresh my ego hasn’t kicked in and I am looking at things from fresh eye and see the harsh reality, and all the nice talks, and spiritual helps that I got yesterday was just a fake nice thing to make me feel better.
But now I am not so sure, cause if most of the egomaniac things I’ve done was the after math of the morning shock and never turned out good, maybe it’s the other way around, maybe these are all the deep down fears and angers and insecurities that are ready to pop out first thing in the morning.
I am coming to a conclusion that these panicky thoughts and “harsh reality checks” that wake me up, are just my ego of having the highest strength right after I wake up, given the fact that my mind has been resting the whole night.
Now that I know this, I have decided to make a rule of not doing anything radical and send no responses or have any reactions to others in the morning, until I know I have passed the danger zone and I can think clearly and tell that ego to go away.
My only regret is those silly useless messages I have sent that had bad consequences. Or maybe they were meant to be sent I am not sure, but this makes me wonder;
Why do things feel so clear and harsh with no feelings in the morning if they are coming from my ego? Which one is real really?
So I am putting this in to test, observe what is happening, take a moment and look from far away and see what I feel about my thoughts, I think you can always tell by how you feel about your action from far that if it is coming from ego or your true self. Do I look silly? Am I judging myself with those thoughts? Am I looking to hurt someone or prove myself right with that message?
Just one minute of holding your phone in front of you and looking at what you are doing might do the trick, one minute of observing your panicky thoughts will tell you; these are just thoughts, your ego has rested the whole night, gained its energy to have the biggest punch the second we let it enter the ring.
So, all I can say is;
Good Morning Ego, and have a nice day!!